If I’m Gonna Get My Blog Blown Off For A Word, My Word Is Poontang.

Today I realised something. I realised that the next driving lesson I have is the driving lesson before my test. And I realised that I'm shitting myself. I'm worried I'm going to fail, and disappoint my parents and have to pay for driving lessons for the next too months and end up living in a cardboard box because of this one failure.
Plus there's the fact that my test is at 8.20, meaning I've got a lesson at 7.15. Yay. Great.

So yeah, I'm bored so here's a blog. Bet you guys are chuffed, 2 blogs in 2 days. I spoil you.

Things I Do When I'm Nervous:

1. Do anything I can to avoid doing what I'm supposed to be doing. This one's pretty self explanatory; I literally do ANYTHING except the one thing I'm meant to be. I once spent 6 hours up town by myself wandering around with no money because my mum wanted me to clean the house for her and I pretended I had plans so couldn't. Most boring 6 hours of my life? Definitely. Half an hour I can do, or longer if I actually have money/things to do. But 6 hours of wandering from the West End to the East and back again over and over again? Shit. Completely and utterly shit. I know cleaning the house isn't something to be nervous about, but it was more an example of how far I'll go to avoid doing stuff.
A better example would be this week. I was terrified that I'd fail the 2 online tests that I had to do to pass my modules, and first year. I was so nervous that I didn't do them. Each test had an hour as the time limit, but I left it so late that I started the first of 3 (one test had 2 attempts) at 16.12. So I had 48 minutes to do 3 hours worth of test. I finished with 13 seconds left until the tests closed. I got 65% on one, and no idea about the other one, so fingers crossed.

2. Eat. Doesn't matter if I'm nervous about a test, doing something new or just nervous about a tv show's future, I'll eat. Chocolate, marshmallows, pizza; it doesn't matter. It's a really bad habit I've gotten into, but I just can't stop. I've literally sat before and thought "ok, there's a selection box in my room, but I'm not going to eat it" only to realised half an hour later that I'm halfway through a bar of chocolate from it. I had bought 2 selection boxes for kids I babysit a week ago, and I've only got one bar left from the both of them. I'm a truly awful, often nervous person.

3. Cry. Buckets and buckets of tears. This only applies to tv shows obviously. And even then only tv shows I care very deeply about. And honestly, I'm not even a little bit ashamed.

I'M GETTING NERVOUS ABOUT NOT HAVING ENOUGH THINGS TO MAKE A PROPER LIST! WHERE'S THE FOOD? Oh, I've eaten it... oops #cries


I would write about what makes me nervous, but It's 1.14 and I'm kind of tired so I'll do a quick list and maybe expand someday, but probably not because it wouldn't be very entertaining.
Here goes:
Exams, essays, missing buses, meeting people, hanging out with people I've not long known, buying presents, receiving presents, season finales, not knowing about series renewals (Hurry up and announce if Young Dracula's getting another season stupid BBC), having no credit (i'm always certain I'll be in a car crash and need to call an ambulance but have no credit), nightmares, spiders, sweetcorn, speed bumps, new things, old things I haven't done for a while, meeting people's familys, sleeping alone (haven't done so in about 6 months; the dog sleeps with me. monsters might attack if I'm alone), there being no chocolate/food in the house, when my sisters put giant pebbles in my bed, the Merlin finale (! :'( ), when my dad takes me driving and criticises me the whole time, car parks and spaces, and having to ask for things.
A good example of the last one: lending my ID out on monday, being told "i'll bring it back on tomorrow". I thought tomorrow meant the day following this one, meaning I should have gotten my ID back on Tuesday. Out of interest I've waited to see how long it would take, it's now the early hours of Saturday morning and I still haven't heard. And I need my licence for my test which is in several days. I'M NERVOUS and slightly pissed. BUT MOSTLY NERVOUS.

After looking at everything I typed I've realised I get nervous at quite a lot of things. But hey, that's life.

I'm going to end on 2 things completely unrelated to this blog:
1. Sarah attempted to dye her hair from blonde to 'dark brown' today. She did it on herself, and has returned home to discover she's missed the entire middle section of her hair, so she has a blonde horizontal stripe halfway down her brown hair.
It's hilarious. Utterly butterly brilliant and hilarious.


2. We finally have a new Christmas tree! This isn't a big deal to most people, but my dad bought our old tree 26 years ago when he moved into his own house. So I wasn't even an idea when the tree was bought. And for the first time in my lifetime we have a new tree, and I love it :D

And it may not look it, but that photo took some serious working of my stomach muscles. Muscles I don't really have. Also I'm sitting on the floor, and this tree is about 6ft high at least. It's great. Ignore the face in this too; it's doing weird facey things that only faces can do.

Just realised this is the first blog I've ever written outside of my bedroom. I feel dirty. This is probably due to the dog jumping on my bowl of cereal earlier and covering both me and my bed with milk. Thank god for waterproof sheets.

So yeah, a pretty lame blog. But considering my day was spent driving in the rain, making children dance the Gangnam Style over and over again, and the highlight of it was being given a card by the chippy, consider yourself lucky. It could have been a lot lamer.

Peace ma homies

The Stuff That Blogs Are Made Of

Okay, in true Caitlin fashion I'm writing this blog instead of tidying my room. Apologies to the gas man that's coming to check the radiators tomorrow. Although I like to think that I'm helping him become a better radiator-checker. Instead of doing mundane checks on a really mundane radiator every time he comes to my house he gets to go on a wee treasure hunt; the treasure being the aforementioned radiator. I think he secretly enjoys it.

And also in true Caitlin fashion I ended up at the doctors today. Turns out I've got a urine infection and I'm on antibiotics. My main issue with this? I'm not allowed alcohol while on them. And I was supposed to be going out on friday night. Hating life 2K12.

Anyway, blogging. I asked for inspiration, boy did I get some. Basically I'm going to do a different blog as often as I can be bothered on each of the different topics given.

To start off; Beth: Orangeade is the best. Limeade is a distant second, but will never be on par with Orangeade. Never.

I'll write a New Year Resolution blog closer to New Year, and a Merlin blog after the finale so I can sum up all my feelings. Until then, I'll just work through the random topics provided by Rhona in the last blog. Onwards and upwards I hope.

So on to the main topic of this blog:

Things I Wish I Could Do/Want To Learn.

1. Martial Arts. Absolutely no doubt here. I grew up watching all the good and crappy martial arts films with my dad so I've always liked watching it. Hell, one of my favourite films ever is a martial arts film (films will be a later blog). But I think the level of martial arts performed by the likes of Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee was always so high that it never seemed achievable for a mere mortal such as myself. And then 2006 came; the first Alex Rider novel Stormbreaker was released in cinemas and I just wanted to be able to do it. I mean I was 12, I knew it was all achieved through camera work and stunt doubles who had trained for years, but I guess the fact that it was supposed to be a 14 year old kid doing all the stuff just made me feel like I could do it too. And the fact that in the film Alex can do all different kinds only made it seem ever cooler.
Unfortunately, despite all my begging and pleading my parents never did pay for me to go to a class. I would go now if I didn't think I was too unfit for it; which I am, purely and simply. Maybe once I start going to a gym and become fitter I might start going to one. That's the aim, and I'll do it someday. Whether I'm any good or not will be determined, but I'll have finally achieved it and will be proud no matter how shit I am.

2. Singing. Don't get me wrong, I sing all the time. Loudly, badly and proudly. But hey, I get pretty high scores on Singstar, Band Hero and High School Musical 2: Sing It. Unfortunately just because I can match the notes doesn't mean I have any decent singing voice, as anyone who has heard me sing will tell you. And I agree, I sound like a cat being strangled, but I don't care. I enjoy it, and a song can change the way you're feeling. If you're sad, singing loudly along to a track you love just instantly makes you feel that wee bit better. And unfortunately for my family, it has the adverse affect on them. So yeah, I will sing no matter how bad I sound, but I really wish I was a decent singer. Not like pre-drugs Whitney Houston talented, but decent enough to not make people cringe in horror.

3. Play the Guitar. About 3/4 years ago when I still had a paper round I told my parents that I had a plan. I had never saved up and bought myself anything larger than a dvd, and I wanted to change that. I decided that I was going to save up and buy myself an acoustic guitar with my own money. I wanted the sense of achievement of having managed to buy something relatively expensive (for a 14 year old) by myself and without my parents help at all. I was going to do it.
But my parents had other ideas. They hadn't been able to think of a good birthday present for me (we normally get one big present and then tons of smaller ones). So when they heard me talking about buying a guitar they just assumed that I wanted a guitar for the sake of having one, not for the sake of buying it for myself. Cue me waking up on my birthday, going downstairs and finding a pretty decent (i think) Fender guitar sitting downstairs for me. I was both happy and slightly disappointed at the fact that once again, my parents had got me something instead of me getting it independently.  And I know, cry her a river, her parents bought her something oh no *cries*. But the idea of doing it myself was a big deal for me.
And then came the next argument between me and my parents. I knew I was no good at guitar, they thought I must have been alright to want one. I've got no idea what the thing should sound like so it's pretty much always out of tune. This just means that whenever I try to play it, I get moaned at. Then when my parents don't hear me play it for a while I get moaned at for not using it. The fact that I can only really try to learn how to play when there's no one around coupled with the fact that I only get the tv when there's no one around means that I really don't play it that often, and I genuinely don't really know how to. I can't read music or anything.
So long story short, I'd like to learn how the play the guitar. Although automatically being great would also be quite nice.

*Just double checked online and turns out my guitar is a Fender CD-60 (Sunburst). I don't know if that's good or not.*

4. Being Less Awkward. Yeah I wish this was a skill I could learn. Once I've been around people for a while, (or if I instantly connect with them) until I'm comfortable around them I tend to be quite awkward. I think it's because I'm not really an outgoing person until I feel I know people well enough. I'm never the first person to stand up and be like "Hi everyone! Love me!". Or at least not externally. I'm going to get all deep here and explain why I think this is. Basically I think this all comes down to family. I've got a pretty large extended family and yet out of all the cousins and aunts and uncles the person I have the most in common with is this guy:

This picture is not meant to be creepy, it's the first one I found on facebook. I swear.

Yep I'm 18 years old and the person I'm most similar to out of all my teen and preteen- aged cousins is the 5 year old boy. Go me. Seriously though, all my cousins are so preoccupied with how they look and taking constant photos of them all together at family events that I'm either left with the 1 year old, or talking about Spiderman. So I think that because I know I'm not really like most of my family and get left with the wee ones, I'm not really that confident at all meeting new people. So yeah, being less awkward or at the very least more outgoing would be quite nice.

5. Hair. This is a really short one, but I wish I was really good at doing my hair. I've got straightening it down to a tee. But that's all I'm really good at. Except growing it, it grows pretty fast:

 I mean, there's only 6 months between     these photos. Ignore the face on the right,

 I'm ill and don't exactly photograph well #sadface.

That's all I can think of just now. In my defence it's 0130am, and I think I got about 3 hours of sleep last night. Basically the only adverse affect a urine infection has it that I need to pee roughly every half hour. Which isn't fun when you're trying to sleep and have to be awake for a driving lesson. Good times.

Holy crap I had a driving lesson this morning (Thursday) and it suddenly hit me that the next driving lesson I'll have will be at 0715am before my driving test. Unless it snows and my test gets cancelled. BUT STILL! Not sure if I can cope; scary times.

Who knows, maybe while procrastinating from doing the online tests I was supposed to do today but missed because of stupid doctor queues I'll think of more things and write a follow up.

And guys, regardless of what anyone says, when a middle aged man hands you a clear plastic bottle thing and tells you to pee in it, it is horrifically mortifying. Especially when after returning from the loo and having filled the bottle said man opens it and sniffs it. Yuck. 

#IWillNeverBeADoctor

And on that lovely thought, it's goodbye from me until I next have a spare half hour to write a blog in, Adios!

Inspiration Required

So if you've read this blog before you know that I'm quite a boring person.  And being quite boring means that I don't really have a lot to blog about; unless writing "slept in, watched tv all day, went back to sleep" is counted as great blogging. Which it's not. Who knows, maybe one day that's what society will become.

But for now I need things to blog about. When I first started this blog I did a couple of themed blogs; like one on things I was scared of. So to try and make my blogging more interested I want comments in here about what to blog about! I need your help! *imagine the WW2 poster which I can't be bothered googling and pasting here*

So yeah, that's it really. Write a comment on an idea for a themed blog or a topic I can either rant or rave above.
Creative hats on!