May The Blog Be With You

So I've decided that I'm rubbish at blogging about for my life for 2 reasons. 

1) My life isn't all that unusual or interesting
2) The majority of it is spent watching tv in my room. Seriously, I spend at least 3 hours a day doing exactly that. Sitting on my bed watching tv usually with chocolate nearby. Remember that gym application? Yeah, it's somewhere on my floor right now. Under mounds of chocolate wrappers.
GO HEALTH!

But when you're life is boring, what can you blog about? I asked this question on google plus earlier, and didn't really get much of a response except slight mocking. Which I was afraid of. Which in turn gave me an idea. Why not write about what I was afraid of. So that's what I'm going to do.

(It's also come to my attention that these blogs seem to be getting quite personal. Hmm. Ah well, I shall continue)

Alrighty, here it is: The Things I Am Afraid Of:

Seriously, just look at that face

Jim Carrey. Yep. I'm that weird. Although I must admit I do like Bruce Almighty. Even if he is god damn terrifying in that film too. But Morgan Freeman makes up for it. Have you heard him speak? Seen his face? Morgan Freeman is just plain awesome.

But Jim Carrey? Ugh, I shudder at his name. He over-acts, he overdoes facial expressions, he overdoes annoying things and ugh.. just... I can't even begin on how bloody irritating he is.

And yet he has a career. A relatively successful one. I fear for the future of the human race. I met someone who was friends with him growing up. They looked scarred. I can't really blame them. If I ever watch Ace Ventura for more than 2 minutes, I start to feel it. Even the phrase "alrighty then" isn't so alright anymore. It's just plain terrifying. Like both Jim himself, and the fact he has a career still.

Sorry spiders

Spiders. I know, I know, not very unusual. But they are just so bloody scary. To be honest, there's not really much about spiders that scare me. If they stay still I'm fine (unless they're big, or a tarantula). But when a spider moves, shit goes down. It's the motion of the legs... nothing (except octupi which are cool) should have 8 legs. Especially on land. Especially when they're just so ugly. This is quite a short paragraph, mainly because it's an obvious fear and I don't really have to explain it.

But maybe I'm being harsh to spiders about their ugliness. I mean, I do have this picture on my computer (on the right).

Being An Old Cat Lady. Again, an obvious one. But let me explain. I'm not a very friendly person. I mean, sure I have friends. But I have no idea how. I'm not particularly nice, or patient or kind or anything that attracts friends.
 And I know I'm going to get comments like "but you have friends! you're a great person! everyone loves you!" (i can dream), but let me correct you. Yes I have friends, but I'm really not that great a person. As mentioned before, most of my life is spent watching tv. Not the most social of activities but somehow I have managed to turn it in to one. I'm not sure how either.
So yeah, just now I have friends. My main worry is that they all make better friends at uni (wouldn't be too hard) and I don't. I end up sitting here in my bedroom 24/7 instead of just 12/6.
The cats I think I'll just get to better fit the stereotype that will be my life. I'd rather have dogs, but they don't seem as sad.
Although the fact that I have to fight for my pillow every night is kind of sad.

Mocking. Not of me, I can cope with being mocked. In fact it happens frequently. And if you read any of my blogs, you'll realise that most of the mocking is done by me.
So what am I scared of people mocking? Sadly and nerdly (I'm inventing words, woo! see you biology degree, hello English) I'm usually scared of someone mocking a tv show or movie I like. Like the following conversation with my dad about The Forbidden Kingdom dvd which arrived yesterday:
Dad: "Is this really the dvd you ordered?"
Me: "Yeah... why?"
Dad: "Because I watched this when it came out and it's a steaming pile of crap"
Me: "Oh.. ok... I'm going to cry now."

Legend Of Korra. So much awesome

I'm so into my tv and movies that I'm constantly worried what people will think of me for some of the shows I watch. Will watching Teen Titans, Young Justice and Avatar: The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra make me seem really immature and nerdy? Even though they have more adult viewers than child and massive adult and cult followings? To most people, these shows wouldn't even be worth a watch. To me, the quality of writing, story-telling, and plain beauty in the animation are so much more than you'd find in adult shows. And that's why so many people love them. Look at the IMDB ratings for these shows. Legend Of Korra has 9.2, The Last Airbender 9, Young Justice 8.8, even Teen Titans has a 7.5 rating. Shows like HIMYM and Big Bang only have ratings of 8.6, lower than 3 of the shows mentioned.
Yet most people would mock me to hell and back for watching, and loving these shows. Especially since I've watched 3/4 since being 13. So sure, mock me. IF you've watched the show. If you haven't, watch them (seriously, they're great) and then you can judge me.

I should point out that the vast majority of the tv shows I watch and love are adult shows. Just saying.

Train Toilets. I'm not going too far into this one. Let's just hypothetically say that I was on a train home from Glasgow when the toilet door didn't lock while I was peeing, a guy opened it before hypothetically announcing to the entire carriage that there was a "lassie daeing a jobby". And then I hypothetically had to walk the entire length of the laughing carriage back to my seat at the very back.

But it's all hypothetical of course.

I wish.

Endings. Whether a book series ending, a tv show ending or the end of a movie franchise I hate endings. All endings. Especially if they're cliffhanger-y or just bad. It means that the excitement of waiting for the next movie;book;episode is over. There will never be a new part, a new joy of discovering another plot line. New characters, new struggles, obstacles, excitement, emotions, nothing. There is only disappointment in a bad or unworthy ending, or longing for unanswered questions to get the answers they so richly deserve.
It's not only a hatred of endings though. That wouldn't be make onto a 'fear' list. I'm always terrified of reaching the end of something I love and have loved for a while only to be disappointed or questioning. In fact I normally put off or avoid reading or watching the last book or episode. I only recently watched the finale of Smallville about 2 years after it had actually aired. Because I'd watched 10 seasons of the show, I really wanted it to keep on going. Or end really well. Which it actually did. Even if we never actually got to see Tom Welling in the complete costume. We saw enough. I was happy. Which is rare. Especially if the ending was never intended to be the ending *cough* REAPER *cough* FIREFLY *cough* DEMONS *cough* THE FADES....
I could go on. But I won't.
Even the Hunger Games. "I'm Katniss, I'm being all badass, I just murdered a guy, woah I'm kind of insane and you have no idea how angry I am and what's going to happen! it's now years later and I'm married to the kid who threw me bread in the dirt once." SERIOUSLY SUZANNE COLLINS? DID YOU HAVE A DEADLINE YOU WERE LATE FOR AND HAD TO QUICKLY WRAP UP OR SOMETHING? GRR

Now JK Rowling; that woman knows how to do an ending. Wrap everything up, show the future so you show what happens to the characters, the right thing to do.
Unlike Anthony Horowitz who killed off one of the best characters in the Alex Rider series in such an irritating way. You're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Aaah an ending :O

I'm aware that this is getting long, so it's ending time




My biggest fear is also the most stupid on this list. But it's the one fear that I have nightmares about. The one fear that causes me to wake up shouting or screaming, all sweaty and breathing heavily.

It's a pebble. Going round a maze. While I've got a zoomed in view.

I know, call the fright police, it's horrifying.

I don't even know what's so scary about it, it just is. I've had the nightmare at least fortnightly since I was three. I've never been beaten with a pebble, or forced round a maze so it's never made sense to me. Or anyone else. But dear God is it f*cking terrifying. It's as scary as a Jim Carrey marathon, a bed full of spiders, my entire biology course (140 people) slagging off Psych, using a train toilet on the stage of Madison Square Gardens, the ending to The Fades ("there's more of them coming, this was only the beginning." "we'll be ready"... sorry guys, this show's been cancelled) and this:

Yeah I know, I have a great future as a photoshopper ahead of me.

So now you know my deepest darkest fears.  Only 3 rules remain.

1) If you tell anyone, I will have to kill you. All of you. Until I'm the only person left in the world. With millions of cats... FUCK, DON'T TELL ANYONE!! EVER!
2) Don't use these to mock me. Please.
3) Don't ask. I'm weird, you should all know this by now.

Caitlin out bitchez.

PS. 10 points to whoever finds a reference in here! and 10 points if you can tell me what it's from!! (Rhona, you've probably got an advantage here...)